Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Higgs Boson


higgsboson“Scientists working with particle accelerators in Europe and the United States say they may be closing in on the elusive Higgs Boson, the ‘God particle’ believed crucial to forming the cosmos after the Big Bang.” – Reuters

Geldoff occasionally ponders the wonders of the universe as he peacefully grazes his pasture.

A sophisticated gelding cannot help but be intrigued by this so-called “God particle”.

Scientists have been spending billions trying to prove the existence of this elusive sub-atomic particle, but there is a deeper truth involved – one that I feel I must share with you.

These scientists hurtling atoms around the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva have clearly been totally side-tracked from what is blindingly obvious to any horse with half a brain.

The unchallengable truth? Higgs Boson would make a great name for a horse!

I know what you’re probably thinking. “That’s a startling insight, Geldoff,” you’re almost certainly uttering under your breath.

What a truly versatile name. Higgs for a short paddock name; Higgs Boson when you hit the competition arena. In fact, why don’t the backers of the Large Hadron Collider sponsor a top-performing dressage horse?

Just to be sure I was on a winner, I ran the name past my paddock mate, Braxton Hicks.

“Braxton,” I said, “What do you think of Higgs Boson for the name of a horse?”

“Brilliant,” he said. “Geldoff, you’re a true genius of the equine world.”

Braxton and I talked about this Large Hadron Collider and why horses hadn’t thought of building something similar.

“They use it accelerate particles to nearly the speed of light or some such thing,” Braxton said.

“Well,” I replied, “if you want to see a few particles moving at close to the speed of light, feed me up on fresh spring grass and stand back to wait for the action!”

Anyway, whatever you do, don’t get me started on the subject of quantum field theory.

There’s only one field that Geldoff’s interested in, and I’m off to eat more grass on it!

2 thoughts on “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Higgs Boson

  • August 4, 2010 at 5:32 am

    Geldoff. Truly a genious! Love the name. Could go M or F..

  • August 10, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    There is a thoroughbred racehorse registered in New Zealand called Higgs Boson – filly of the sire Handsome Ransom and mare Out of the Blue. She is a 2 year old.


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