Manure vacuum, from £2438-£7100.

by Ingrid Khan

It has finally happened, and it is the best thing since Sliced Bread! I have found a machine that for years I have longed for.

For decades I have mucked out stables, cleared horse droppings off the paddocks to reduce worm infestation and often thought 'if only someone out there would have a vacuum cleaner to vac all this poo up'!

But nothing much happened on this score and I carried on pushing the wheelbarrow across the field looking for droppings. Horses are such mucky animals, why can't they all poo into one corner? Just think, you and I sat down just anywhere and do it? There were people out there saying 'ah, but you will lose weight und it will keep you fit', who the heck wants to be kept fit in freezing winter, sludgeing through mud, losing wellies in the process and looking – yet again – for droppings. Naaa, this was no fun by a long shot.

But years later, by which time I was fit, I came across an advert of a poo vaccum machine. I thought, coffee in one hand, ''hmmmm, this sounds good, must give them a call'. Well, I tell you I have never looked back. The people at the other end of the phone were very nice and answered immediately without the usual answering machines accompanied by music that drives the deafest person insane.

I received brochures and a CD Rom and lo and behold, this was the answer to the maiden's prayer!

You can hitch this wonderful machine onto your sit-on-mower or your quad bike or a tractor and move across the field with ease. You stop at every pile of poo and with a long hose (3m or 4 or 8 m) you hose up all and every bit of poo, leaving no traces behind! Well, I thought I had struck gold. After all these years of pushing and shoving and piling poo… don't you know it!

With 4 horses in a 5 acre field this machine will need about 40 min. vaccuming time, then you can drive into your yard and clean the stables with EASE, sucking up the poo and the wet, straw and whatever you need to get rid off, but please, mind the kitten……..yes, it has happened that one customer almost sucked up her kitten! But you can vaccum the yard and keep it spotless!

I know you want to know what happens next…..You drive into the field and wherever you happen to have a muck heap, a container, a wagon waiting to take the muck, you open the doors of the hopper (name of the receptical with the vacced up muck) and it will drop to the ground in a huge pile. You then fit a second shorter hose to the hopper inside, vac up the pile on the ground and whilst you do so, through the second hose you spew the muck onto your muck heap or trailer or under a hedge out of sight, make sure the neighbours are out shopping ...

And that is it! 4 horses in 5 acres with 4 stables, the time is one hour and a bit! Time saved, money saved and a job so well done, no one could do it better regardless of what you pay.

I had a demo done at a customers house. Their 2 yr old little girl was watching us vaccuming up the piles of horse dodas and then her grandpa announced that he will now show, how The Predator spews it onto his muck-heap. Good guy, I was anxious to see this performance, and I tell you, some performance it was.

The little girl sat on a big plank of wood looking at her grandpa who unfortunately did not look at her but turned and switched the blower on and ''oh my gawd ...' covered the little girl from top to bottom in horse-manure! Well, it takes a split second to realize what has happened but in that time she was covered completely before her grandpa turned the machine off!

The amazing thing for me, who has done some Child Psychology was that despite all this poo come flying, the little girl never moved but just sat and cried! Well, I definitely had seen enough by now and also knew that you should never stay put in the way of flying poo!

Back to the machine: they are available in various sizes depending on the number of horses you have. The savings you will have by either having one person to operate the whole thing or doing it yourself is fantastic. I only wish that we would have had this ingenious machine decades ago.

I have now taken up a distributorship for Germany and surrounding 'suburbs' i.e. countries like Holland, Belgium etc. and I would like to think that people will welcome this machine the same way as I have done with open arms and a lawn-mower to sit on and leaving the wheelbarrow abandoned in the corner of the yard!

If you want to know more about it, email me and I will forward any info, CD Roms or videos for you to see for yourself that The Predator is the best thing since sliced bread!