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Christmas Crisis in the Pony Division

December 11, 2009

by Neil Clarkson

It's a little known fact that Santa Claus is a very good judge of horses. At quieter times of the year he can even be found judging at an occasional agricultural show.

He leaves his red suit at home, of course, instead donning a tidy tweed jacket and moleskin pants.

Next time you're at a show, look carefully. That overweight, jolly judge with the beard and moustache just might be the big man himself. It's best not to say anything if you do spy him. We wouldn't want to let the cat out of the bag!

Santa's good knowledge of horses is very important to the smooth running of Christmas.

His multibillion-dollar company, Christmas Inc, is based in the Arctic Circle. It employs tens of thousands of elves who work tirelessly to ensure that millions of children around the world get their presents every year.

Santa's Pony Division is the biggest of all his departments, even though ponies are given to only a tiny fraction of the kids who receive gifts on Christmas Eve.

The department is packed with staff because giving ponies takes a lot of organising.

Each Christmas, Santa delivers around 26,000 ponies to boys and girls around the world.

It's a very expensive business. For a start, Santa wants to ensure that all the little boys and girls and their families are suitable to own a pony.

Continued

DIGEST
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It's one of the most infuriating conditions to deal with. So what are the best strategies for fighting the bad bacterial boys on the block?
Stop, thief!
Horses - and the collection of gear that accompanies them - are valuable, and pretty much anything with value runs the risk of being stolen.

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