Sven Holmberg. © Jan Gyllensten

News broke late last week that Swede Sven Holmberg was challenging Princess Haya for the top spot at the International Equestrian Federation.

Chasing news from Sweden has its pitfalls, especially if you can’t speak the language.

I found the press statement announcing Holmberg’s bid sitting on the front page of the Swedish Equestrian Federation website.

Unfortunately, there was no English version, meaning there was little choice but to find an on-line translator to see if it could make sense of it.

Running translators over text is fraught and sometimes the result is incomprehensible. The main problem is that the translator doesn’t know the intricacies of the language and doesn’t always select the right word.

For example, the Holmberg release referred to the debate over use of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). The translation came up with non-steroidal opposing inflammatory drugs.

It’s a tricky job making sure you don’t misintepret the release due to these “left-field” words that invariably end up in the translated statement.

That said, the translator Horsetalk used did a pretty good job and we put together a reasonable summary of this interesting challenge for the reins at the FEI.

I later came across http://dressage-info.co.cc, which had obviously run the Holmberg release through a different translator and published it “as is”.

Reading on, I discovered that some humble out-of-the-way text translator had done a far more entertaining job of the story than I could ever do.

I mean, how could I hope to compete with: “Sven Holmberg, the underway second-in-charge of the International Equestrian Federation (FEI), has been appointed for chair to separate against Princess Haya, the movement honcho of the orbicular methodicalness embody of heptad equid sports.

You’ve got to admit that “orbicular methodicalness embody of heptad equid sports” is a heck of a lot racier than “International Equestrian Federation.”

But it got even better!: “The Nordic Equestrian Federation declared weekday it has filed a oratory for Holmberg, who is first evilness chair of the FEI and chair of the International Jumping Committee …”

First evilness chair? You’ve gotta love it. I guess that comes from being VICE president.

There was a bit of an explanation about the whole drugs debate in the sport, noting that Princess Haya’s “prototypal constituent as chair has been scarred by controversies …”

It continued: “The most unsettling for Holmberg has been the supply of doping, specifically non-steroidal opposing inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), which has sharply separated the FEI …”

But I’m afraid this one lost me completely: “There are destined correct values we crapper concord on disregarding of background.

“These values in my nous crapper be summarized as follows; attitude for the manlike beings, the attitude for birdlike welfare, co-equal opportunities for every and the correct for every undergo creatures to be aerated with comportment and respect.”

Bo Helander, president of the Nordic federation, was quoted as saying: “We conceive that Sven Holmberg, with his daylong experience, panoptic occurrence gain and the estimation he enjoys in the rider concern is the correct mortal to nous the FEI.”

Well, it certainly helps if you have the correct mortal to nous the FEI. Otherwise, you could well end up in the crapper.

I’m not sure it’s equestrian journalism at its finest, but it’s certainly entertaining.